It has been a crazy busy week (as usual). And of course, I sit here and I'm not exactly sure what to say. I know I built this up as maybe some huge monumental post (it may be) but, I don't know. Well, it all started when I got back from camp. I left camp and immediately drove up to school (meaning my new house that I'm currently living in). Got there around 1 or 2 am, slept and woke up to pack for a Minnesota Boundary Waters canoeing/hiking trip. Did that which was a blast (almost chopped my thumb off) and then got back and jumped right into Cru stuff which turned out to be rough. Yes it was orientation week so I didn't NEED to do anything but of course, I signed myself up to do some events for freshman (oops, i mean first years.... politics...). All I wanted was to first actually move in and not live out of my suitcase and sleeping bag in my own house and more importantly take some time to reflect on my summer (which still has yet to happen). So, relaxing quickly turned into laziness which prevented me from reflection and establishing good friendships with first years in the dorms. This continued throughout mmmm the first 6 weeks of school. Life turned into being centered around sleep rather than God (BIG mistake). I got thrown back into some depression because well, I was just not enjoying life. My grades were slacking, I didn't want to spend any time reading or studying and all I wanted to do was "escape" life through TV and sleep. No doubt I was "happy" and somewhat "content" but obviously, that did not last. Finally, being sick and tired of my laziness and lack of motivation I prayed. I prayed that God would lead me, give me the strength to go throughout my day (all of my classes are in the morning!!! ahh, I'm most awake past midnight!). I prayed that he would pull me out of this "reoccurring cycle of suck" where I would be up late due to laziness in the afternoon, be tired in the morning for class, not pay attention, and then get home and sleep and thus the cycle of suck. My life is not my own. I'm here to live my life and give all the glory to God. Being a slacker is not God glorifying. I'm currently reading through Luke and yesterday I read chapter 4 which depicts Jesus in the desert fasting for 40 days. He is approached by Satan who tempts him to fail, to turn away from the Father, to sin. Jesus prevails and stands strong under the strength and knowledge of God. I'm still struggling with my laziness, lack of effort in school and especially in my prayer life. But it is time to stand up, have faith and live a life for God. What a growing experience.
On another note, I'm going to a new church up here. It started out as a house church with only a couple families attending. It is so great! It feels like home (Fair Oaks Church) because I actually interact with the older members of the church (which is the whole reason of church, to fellowship with the WHOLE body of Christ, Cru is not the WHOLE body). It is reformed theology, which I'm still trying to figure out MY views which is rough where all the guys in the house find that doctrine true. Its really easy to nod your head in agreement. Again, we come back to my laziness and low motivation to actually seek it out deeply. We'll see.
I'm reading two books at the moment (other than my textbooks, one of which I enjoy reading, American History, aren't I in the right major now?). Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper and Why We're Not Emergent (By Two Guys That Should Be) by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck. It is ironic that I've been reading DWYL all summer? I'm almost done though, not too much left then it's on to Miracles by C.S. Lewis or one of Andrew Schwab's books (Project 86 frontman) which should be in the mail!
Also, I calculated all of my classes for the rest of my college years and drumroll please............. I'm going to be here for a full 5 years! I think I have the major with the most credits (my minor is over 30!) but all in the name of teaching kids! SUPER SENIOR!!! And those are actually pretty full semesters averaging 14-15 credits. Crazy, I know. But I enjoy college for the most part. Its so amazing up here at Tech. Hard to put to words...
Another thing I'm hashing out is how to spend my upcoming summer. Do I work at camp again? Try to find some kind of teacher related job? Work down in VA doing tiling? Stay up here and find a job? Do Summer Project? So many directions... I would LOVE to work at camp again, I think thats choice number one unless the Lord leads me elsewhere. Summer Project I've heard is pretty sweet. It would be nice to be down with the folks down in the homeland too. And I've heard summer up here is truly FANTASTIC... Or, I could do something not on my list. Oh man.
I think that I've spat enough thoughts down, I hope you actually understand them cause sometimes I sure don't. Feel free to ask questions and maybe I'll do this more often, no promises though. Although, this took a shorter amount of time then I thought it would. Oh well...
If you learned anything please take this away, How are you living your life? What is its purpose? Ponder that, take care,
Devin
Hey man,
ReplyDeleteIt's awesome to see you post again and write down your thoughts. Sorry to hear your first 6 weeks didn't go all that well. If there is any way I can help you out at all in any way, just let me know. Seriously. If I can help, I want to be of use.
I think working at Camp Barakel would be cool again, but I can't play the role of God. It's good to have an aim. Summer up here is pretty nice for you cooler weather types if you've never experienced it. There's plenty of time between now and summer though.
Don't forget that there is still Spring Break to think about before summer! haha. I can't help but promote Big Break and I'm goin again... something to think about. You know how much I liked it.
One thing that's really sweet is that you're going through Luke! I litereally just finished going through Luke today! It was amazing. If I haven't told you in person how chapter 12 really stood out to me, you gotta read my most recent 1200 word blog post to find out, cuz it's cool! There's a LOT of solid content in Luke. Don't read so many extra books that it takes time off of reading the Bible every day!
If Christianity becomes a "chore" for you in the near (or far) future, let me know. I would like to try to help you out, maybe share some exciting things God has been doign in my life to motivate you a bit or just talk a bit if you want.
Sorry to make my comment so long, but I love ya man and wanna help you out if I can cuz I know you'd want to do the same for me.