My Heart Upon A Letter

(So, it’s been a while since I've done this whole blogging thing. Its not that I haven't been having those hard thoughts worth sharing, its probably because they are so overwhelming that its hard to put them in words.)

Dear Friend,

If I have hurt you in some way or form, I am so sorry. I ask that you forgive me. I definitely don't deserve it but hear me out as I explain some things and the forgiveness that I have received from God through Jesus Christ. It would be very encouraging to hear from you and the thoughts you may have. I sort of feel like the apostle Paul, who wrote his heart upon his letters. My hope and prayer is that it leads you to Jesus Christ, as Paul's letters did:

What initially brought me back to this blog this evening is a post I ran across from a friend in high school. (I just realized that I graduated 3 years ago. I'm old. I'm like those other guys who write about what they did in high school "way back when".) From my perspective, we weren't that close, maybe more than an acquaintance but we never really "hung out". However, back in middle school we did. We were pretty close and spent some time together and were pretty open about our faith. We talked about different things our youth groups were doing and such, also played paintball on a few occasions. Once high school came around, we drifted further away and most of that was sadly my own doing.

Recently, I guess I've been in a funk of sorts. Constantly dwelling on the bad things in life and not coming to Christ with them has essentially made me pretty depressed at times. I am reminded of my years at high school mainly. Looking back at high school for me is mostly ugly. Even though some would disagree, I would say that I was a jerk. I look back at my interactions with others and see how horrible it is that I would seek out those who are "popular" and try to distance myself from those who aren't. I would be apart of those who made fun of those who were "different" and "unwanted". Honestly, it brings me to tears when I think about some of the awful things that I did. I was that kid sometimes, the one who was picked on. I hated it, I hated life. It made me miserable and yet I go and do it someone else! Oh how wicked and depraved I am! I can only hope and pray that those whom I picked on are still not struggling with self worth. God will you please intervene in their lives as you did in mine! Show them your love in Christ! They do have meaning as the image bearers of you! Restore them Lord, make them brand new through your Son, Jesus!

I am sad when I think upon these things. My heart aches for those that I treated poorly. The question is, am I doing that now and if so, how am I going to change that? Well the answer is yes, I am doing it still and I need to be a better neighbor. I am reminded of the story of the Good Samaritan. Being a church kid, I've heard the story a dozen times and seen most of the low-budget Sunday school films depicting Jesus' parable. The story is in response to a lawyer who asks him how to gain eternal life (Luke 10:25-37). This lawyer, as described by Luke, tried to justify himself by asking who is his neighbor in reference to loving your neighbor as yourself. Jesus answers him in his usual fashion. Our neighbors are more than those whom we hang out with on a regular basis. For me, I spend too much time in my Campus Crusade bubble of friends. Yes, time with them is great and it can be very beneficial in encouraging and spurring each other on but most of the time, its just simply hanging out. But what about those that have little or no friends? What about that guy that sits in the back of Cru all by himself? Or in the back of class? Down the hall in my dorm? At the table by himself? The homeless man I pass occasionally? Many others who I ignore? What was the lawyer’s answer when Jesus asked him who the neighbor was? "The one who showed him mercy." He couldn't even say the word "Samaritan"! He knew his ugliness! Jesus rightly revealed to him his pride. "Go and do likewise," said Jesus. See here's the thing. Number one is to be right with God. How can I love others without knowing what love is? I can't know love unless God reveals it to me. "In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10. Now, second, I've got to love others/neighbors as myself. This is totally selfless, unconditional, unbiased and Christ-like love. True love. I can't be discriminate. Everybody is my neighbor. Everybody also has a soul. They are eternal in a sense. They either know Christ or not. Do I love them in such a way that they may know Christ? Am I being purposeful in my interactions with others? Am I neglecting to share what it truly looks like to love? Yes, I am.

I am quite inadequate by myself. However, in Christ, I am fully capable. I am a new creation, brand new, born-again, truly living. It is not of myself, but a gift of God. I am to love my neighbor as God has loved me. God loves me unconditionally. Take a minute and think about that, really! Despite all the wicked things that I have done, I am loved beyond my understanding. I am forgiven and I am loved!

Again, for those that I have hurt. I am deeply saddened in the way that I treated you. I am a sinful human being who is quite selfish and prideful. I was especially more-so years ago but today I still am digging up the roots of pride and selfishness. Through my relationship with Christ, I am killing sin and walking in righteousness, earnestly seeking to glorify God in my actions so that I can love my neighbors. Please, hear my plea. Look towards Jesus for your identity. You are made in the image of the all-powerful Creator God who loves you. Find your hope and trust in Jesus, our Savior, as he is the firm foundation to build your life upon. Cast your cares and worries upon him for his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

If this is confusing in any way at all (which it probably is knowing my writing skillz), please ask me. Facebook, email: devin.thurston@gmail.com or respond by comment. Thanks for reading and Soli Deo Gloria,

Devin