The Time Has Come

So here it is. Time for me to man up and take on the challenges that kids will bring me. Sure, it's going to be rewarding and all but I'm scared. I have 2 major fears. One is that I'm going to sleep in and miss stuff and the other is not giving my all to my future campers and they will come out of the week not having much fun. I know that I have my fun moments but I'm not sure that I can dish out ultimate fun-ness 24-7.

The more and more that I try to do it on my own, I fail. How many times does it take me to realize that I can't do it all on my own, I need to rely on the big man upstairs. At this moment in my life, I feel like I need some sort of goal to reach within the next few years, mainly pertaining to my college career. Honestly, I have no clue what to study for. As a kid I always wanted to be in the military doing special ops stuff or a fighter pilot. Then it moved onto an auto technician, turning wrenches my whole life. And then the idea of Engineering seemed so great, the hands on wrenching turning stuff plus some math. Well, it turned out to be more math than hands on. So thats what I started with and after one semester I felt like I was a fish in the wrong tank. I evaluated my strengths and came out with maybe some sort of teacher or something. Bam, social sciences. And that is where I currently stand, taking all social science courses in the fall. But honestly, I am totally lost. What am I going to do with a Social science degree? Yes, I'm looking at education but I'm still unsure of that. And if social sciences doesn't work, right now, I don't know what I'd do. 

I know you're thinking, Devin, what about youth ministry stuff? I'm thinking the same thing. I don't especially feel called to be a pastor but I do feel like I need to have some anchor in some sort of youth ministry field. Maybe God is just using this to make me more dependent on him, I'm not surprised because I've been praying for him to use me in some way. But, it just sucks right now...

Anywho, this summer is going to be life changing. I'm going to be pushed to so many limits. I would describe it as driving your car fast on a curvy road. So pumped yet, scared out of your mind. 

Thats where I'm at and where I'm going. I may or may not get a chance to update this, facebook or upload some pics, but I will try. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!! Enjoy the summer!

Struggle

Yo,

I'm out of school, finally and overall, it was a decent year. I did amazing my first semester but then then second semester, my grades plummeted. The reason, because I was too committed to Campus Crusade for Christ. Now, Cru (as we call it) has been truly amazing and through it I have been challenged to always further my faith in God. But, Cru was my life, not school. Right now, I'm going to school, not Cru and I didn't follow through with that this semester. So, I'm definitely going to have to take some steps back, and yes, it is going to be hard. The thing that really sucks, is that is also where the majority of my friends are. When I look back, I pretty much only hung out with that group and hardly anyone else. And as great as they are, I feel like I need to get to know some other people. One outlet of that is going to be through upcoming skate nights that I'm going to start. Here in VA, almost every Friday and Saturday a group of guys (and sometimes gals) meet up and go skate into the wee hours. I want to create that atmosphere up at Tech (Michigan Tech, not Virginia). Also, I love to go four-wheeling and sometimes I ditched one friend who wanted to go out and I hung out with Cru. I'm not going to stop going Cru, I just need to step back and handle what I'm called to be and that is a student.

So tonight I scraped some lady's car with my dad's truck. Nothing major, just scraped some paint off her rear bumper and scratched the front bumper of the truck. Now, I love and hate driving the truck. It's a manual which is cool and crappy. So for parking it, I absolutely hate it. I pulled in and then I pulled out and swung it around thinking I had at least a foot of clearance, nope, scrape.... Man, there goes the money I'm making right now. Now, I'm bummed.  I'm in a depressed mood. Not only because of this but some other things have been on my mind. I'm going to be at camp in 2 weeks and when I'm going to screw up how am I going to handle it? With my record, I'm going to get down and want to get away from everything. Now, I can't do that at camp. I've got responsibilities and most importantly I've got be that great guy counselor to my kids this summer. We'll see, time to cool down and get ready for tomorrow.